Thursday, December 30, 2010

I can't let you out of sight.

ughhhhh, I don't know what to do with you.

I'm afraid I was mistaken. I fooled myself into beliving that he found me when I was lost. I thought the lonliness and utter despair would loosen its tight hold on me if I found someone new. I thought someone better could fill the enormous void inside my chest. But I was wrong. It was you I wanted all along.

It would be nice if for one day I wouldn't think about you, or miss you, or love you.

Nothing is simple anymore.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

head vs heart

As winter fades and spring creeps in, so will strong memories of you. I miss the spring. I miss the crisp smell and the clear blue skies. I miss the heavy downpours and the evenings spent with you. I miss the comfort of your arms around me. I miss the way you kissed my lips and told me that you love me. I miss the way you played with my hair and said I was beautiful. I miss the simplicity, just me and you together. Oblivious to our surroundings, we were so in love, so alive. With every touch I fell into a deeper love with you. I truly believed that we would be together forever. So naive, yet so powerful. I gave everything to you, my heart was invested. Why did you have to go? Now you're just a bittersweet memory to me. It's unfortunate, because that's all we'll ever be.

So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares
I could care less. That may be heartless but it's the truth. My heart is too dead to care.

You made me cry, you told me lies
But I can't stand to say goodbye
Mama, I'm comin home
I could be right, I could be wrong
It hurts so bad it's been so long
Mama, I'm comin home

The second you let it become a part of you,
you'll never forget it, no matter what you do.
You lost it all, still wanting some more.

I'm afraid that I'm going to break your heart.

Never knew what love was
Until you came around
Never thought I was crazy
Until you came around

I want you
There goes my life, passing by...

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I keep wondering what the hell you did to make me fall so hard. It didn't take much.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

This was my first love
He was the first to go
And when he left me for you
I was the last to know

Betrayed, disgraced
You've been erased
So long, so long
I have erased you
So long, so long
I've wanted to waste you
So long, so long
I have erased you
I have escaped
The bitter taste of you
Somehow I found a way to get lost in you, let me inside, let me get close to you.

This time baby, I'll be bulletproof
Maybe I know deep in my soul that love never lasts.

Smashing Pumpkins "Mayonaise"

Living in a shell
With no soul
Since you've gone away
Living in a world so cold
Counting the days
Since you've gone away

Do you ever feel me
Do you ever look
Deep down inside
Staring at yourself